It is truly amazing how fortunes can change in a matter of hours. On this past Wednesday, I went to our Prime Time Bible Study at the church, went to lunch with my lovely wife and went home to catch a nap before I had to go into work later on that evening. I left the house to go meet my wife for dinner before work, I began to feel really bad. Chest hurting, sweating, sick to my stomach, pain radiating everywhere. We get to the restaurant, I look like a hot mess and my wife makes a play call to take me to the hospital. That was Wednesday night. It is now Saturday afternoon and I am still here in the hospital.
During the past few days, the good folks here have tested my heart and cardiovascular system. I have even performed stress testing which shows how healthy my heart is under stressful conditions. To God be the glory, my heart is in great shape and as in the words of the cardiologist, “You have no reason to be the size you are. When you get out, don’t keep working at it, WORK HARDER!!!” So why am I still here??? The doctors have kept me here because of the fact that my CK levels in my blood stream are about 40 times higher than normal. The program now is to flush my system out until those levels go down. This has been a slow proposition due to the fact that I was a tired, dehydrated mess when I stepped foot in here.
This experience has been a difficult one because in my short 38 years, I have never spent anytime in a hospital. Sure, I have been in the ER plenty for various injuries, but never a stay. This has been nerve racking and tiring to say the least. My spirit has not been the best, I have been pretty grumpy and I will state that I have been an emotional wreck and roller coaster. In the midst of all that, the spiritual battle has decided to happen in my proverbial front yard. I have said some things that I have shouldn’t have said. I have had thoughts that I should not have had. I have had bitterness where bitter had no place…All to see that none, I mean none of those things that were presented to me, most that I had suckerly accepted were true. Job went through this same thing while he was being tested. His complaints in the midst of his trials were also false. God forbid, Job had it rougher than I currently do.
Yet in the midst of all this, it is just like the Lord to absolutely stop and park my behind to really deal with me. It is a shame and a scandal that He has to do me like this to get in a word in edge wise. I know I have to get my quiet time back with Him. God truly has a lot to say to us and He wants to talk too. I guess we run like we do, sometimes to try to avoid the conversation all together. Anyhoo, even though I was disappointed this morning when the doctor told me that I will not be going home today, I thank God for this quiet time that I am having with Him now. This is the most peaceful I have been in months. Possibly years.
Before I be quiet, I must say this. I thank God for my wife, Caretha. She has been by my side through all of this. (She is by my side through everything.) I have said somethings to her that were not only stupid…Lets just say really stupid. I know we have already gone through it and I apologized but I want to apologize in written form. Sweetness, I love you and I am sorry for being the rear end of a donkey. Please forgive me. I also want to thank my daughters, Shacora and Kelsey, for loving me and sticking by me. My love also goes out to my family (Mom, Dad, Judy, Teresa) extended family, church family and friends. Ok, enough with the Grammy speech…I just had to give my shout outs. I will be outta here soon Lord’s willing; better than ever.
One love….
The Underground 88 